Friday, May 1, 2009
all i can see are women. flocks of them. like geese. that's right....it's the annual "Women's Conference" here on campus....what does that mean? a bunch of women, getting together to sit through "classes" but the majority of them are just crocheting little bonnets, or booties, or afghans, or shirts...whatever. who knows what they do in there....but really they are just here to disturb the peace. at least that's my take on things. I don't know what it is about this little conference that turns women into beasts. I avoid the main hub of campus at all costs during these days (the student center, where there's food and the bookstore) because you can't turn anywhere without running into them, and smelling the old woman smell. They buy fudge by the gallons, i swear. not to mention the whole fact that most of them are menaupausal and will do anything and everything to use that as an excuse. I'm sure they talk about being better mothers, better wives, better relief society presidents etc....but they need to learn a life lesson: just because visiting and wear a nametag doesn't mean your special. you can't just walk all over us lowly university employees like we're dirt on the ground. I tried to go to a local restaurant last night, worst idea on the planet. This place is a provo favorite "Brick Oven".......i've never seen so many hungry, onery, tired women in my life. Just the thought of their crusty feet made me not want to even eat the food there. I felt bad for the waiters and anyone who wasn't a woman in that place. My hat's off to you Brick Oven for even attempting to host these crazies. with that said...Go buy your fudge and take it back to your ghetto hotel room and leave me alone. that's all i ask.
Friday, March 27, 2009
the trend around here for mormon mothers seems to be the "take me anywhere" shopping cart....aka a stroller. I saw this woman today whose husband (keep in mind, probably both no older than 23 years old) was pushing their stroller. You'd expect to find a smiling little modestly dressed baby inside...but no. The thing was stuffed full of crap. Her purse, backpack, bags from the bookstore, etc. So where was the baby? the mom was carrying it...really people? really? I mean....who would think of actually putting the baby in the stroller? what a waste of space. next thing you know, this will be an everyday occurance:
in other news, the sun was out today. the bipolar utah weather makes me ill.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
just saw one of these beauties walk by. studded belt and everything. unfortunately it was followed by a shirt that was too short and too tight for the girl who was wearing it revealing a bare midriff!!! normally i wouldn't care about it, i would just think it was gross that a bare belly was sticking out in the frigid air....but at BYU where there's a strict dress code, for some reason my judgmental side comes out when i see violations. Not like i ever do anything, but i tend to notice it more. I almost didn't know what to do with myself when one day a girl came in wearing a tank top....sinful, i know..........back to the chain. i remember a point in my life where i thought it would be cool to wear one of these, and i think i probably even shopped around for one...and now i'm slightly embarassed that i broadcasted that to the blogging world. what's the point of these things? so your wallet doesnt get stolen i presume? I hate to break it to you, but i've never seen a pick pocketer walking around campus. or maybe outer-thigh bling is attractive to some people. whatever the case, it caught my eye and i just spent the last 8 minutes writing about it. Thank you thigh-bling girl for entertaining me.
all my eyes can see out the window today is (pardon my mormon french) effing snow! who decided that snow in spring was acceptable? i know it's not the God that i believe in....he would never do this to me. People outside seem to be walking at a brisk pace with their eskimo-fur-lined hooded coats. What i don't seem to understand is the fact that there are blue patches in the sky.... i know people say that utah is the promised land and all..... but if this is the promised land, i don't even want to know what Hell is like.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The inspiration for this blog came last spring as i witnessed the following story unfold....i hope it disturbs you as much as it disturbed me.
At work i sit next to a huge wall of windows. The windows are treated w/ that stuff so that it's harder to see into them than it is to see out of them, like a toned down version of a 2 way mirror. . Because of this, people are constantly looking at themselves in the "mirror" and don't realize i'm right behind it..I've seen my share of people taking a second glance at themselves, couples making out, cleaning one's braces etc. but today i witnessed something that i NEVER want to see again. There was a couple (see picture...) canoodling and all of a sudden i see her reach up and POP his NECK ZIT.........wait...what?! did i really just see what i thought i saw? i felt like i was caught looking at something on the internet that i shouldn't have been.....but it gets better. she WIPES the DISCHARGE of the zit/pimple/growth ONTO HIS SWEATER. i about died...and my muffin from earlier almost made an appearance on my desk again. She continued 'grooming' him for the next 5 minutes. Popping zits here, flicking off hair there, licking her finger and slicking his hair...i mean...nasty crap. If i ever get married, i will NEVER let my lover touch my imperfections....especially in public. sick.
And so it began. my senses have been heightened and my curiosity increased. I can no longer hold in my feelings as i watch college aged students, their parents and siblings do socially unacceptable things in public. Spring has sprung (or whatever) here in Provo and the crowds are slowly growing...so It's time the world enjoys the cheap entertainment i witness each day. so...sit back, relax,pretend like you're working and enjoy the view from my window.